Twenty six years ago I was seconds from death. I was speeding down the road in my parent’s car and as distraught as one can get. It wasn’t worth it anymore. I saw a huge truck in the oncoming lane and braced as I prepared to swerve and hit it head-on.
And then a moment of clarity.
The guy driving this truck doesn’t deserve to live his life with my suicide in his memory. Nobody does.
So I stayed in my lane and I drove to school to tell my councillor what just happened. I spent the next few weeks in the hospital “getting better”.
I’m not going to tell you that the years since have been all wine and roses, there have been some really dark times but there have been way more really amazing times. I should have given therapy a chance but never did. Life could have been much easier.
I cling to that moment of clarity, that millisecond that saved my life.
Maybe one day you’ll be there. That thought, that moment, grab it and don’t let go.