I’m writing this just a few minutes before we launch a new company into the world. You would think that would cause a lot of jitters but it’s not … at least right now. I feel good, not happy, something bigger than happy. I feel like I’m about to embark on a meaningful journey.
Some would say that life’s all about finding happiness, well I gave up on happiness last year, it’s not good enough to be happy. Happiness is fleeting, gaining happiness for myself could mean misery for others and what the hell is happiness anyway? I don’t want to be lying on my death bed thinking how happy I was, I want to feel like I made a difference, like I tried to make a dent in the universe. That’s not happiness, that’s fulfillment.
I’ve spent a lot of time reflecting on life over these past 10 months, there seems to be no end to the depth you can look if you really want to and it all starts with one simple question … “Why?” At some point most of us (I can think of a few exceptions) end up on this treadmill of life and we start going through the motions, looking for all the things that people have told us are along life’s path. How many of us stop to really examine where we are, how we got here and what makes us feel fulfilled?
Make no mistake “why” is a very hard question to answer and the pursuit of the answer will have you asking all kinds of uncomfortable questions, it will cause heated discussion, “why” is uncomfortable. Why is purpose. Why am I here? Why am I doing this? Why doesn’t this make me feel happy? Why am I feeling this way? Why am I not excited to get out of bed today?
I don’t think I know my purpose entirely, even after almost a year of hunting around on my hands and knees with a magnifying glass, even after staring into the void for hours, even after pushing my body and mind farther than any other point in my life. But I can feel it, it’s getting closer, and today I’m taking a big leap forward.
I will share this journey with two incredible comrades (and friends), Chris, Jean-Paul and I are very different people but we share a common purpose and vision. If we can pull this thing off it has the potential to bring this feeling of fulfillment to other people and organizations. Is that a goal worth investing life in? Is that something that will make me smile at the end of my days? Yeah, I think so.